Moving with the kids? Here are some tips to making it easier.
Moving is stressful for an adult, let alone a child. Often times in the middle of your move, you are inundated with the tasks at hand and you are overwhelmed with daily life. The logistical nightmare begins of juggling work, family, pets, friends and the move. Unfortunately, in the midst of this chaos, the kids can get overlooked and lost in the shuffle of all of this activity.
However, keep in mind that the stress you feel, they feel too. Further, they don’t have much control over the situation, so this feeling can be even more challenging for them. The key to mitigating this is to empower your children based on what is age appropriate.
- Tell them first. Once you know you are moving, tell your kids. It is important that they hear this from you. Have a family meeting and explain to them what you know and what you don’t know. Give them some reassurance and come up with some ideas together to help empower and include them.
- Give them an outlet. Just as you will be flooded with mixed emotions and stress, so will your child. Provide them with an outlet to
enable them to cope with their feelings. Moving with my three sons made me understand that having a tool to help them cope was invaluable. Thus, the reason for my Moving Journal for Kids. You can find it on Amazon or just get them a notebook. The medium is not important, but rather the connection you are establishing with your child. Sit with them and talk about everything from friends, family, school and their room. - Empower them. Depending on their age, ask for their input. What kind of place should we get? What’s important to you? What about your room? How would you like to decorate it? Pinterest and Houzz are great tools for this exercise because it is visual and you can get a clear understanding of what they envision. This will help them feel apart of the process and get their buy-in.
- Open-door policy. Keep the lines of communication open with your kids. I know it’s tough. Been there. Done that. Worn the t-shirt too many dang times. Trust me. It is is worth the effort. Encourage your child to come to you if they are struggling and when they do, make the time. It sets a huge foundation of trust. Kids know that you are busy but what makes an impression, is if you stop and make that time. Five minutes goes along way.
- Check-in. Check-in with your child on how he or she is coping. Keep in mind that you still want to do this even six months out. Each kid copes and transitions differently, so checking in with how they are doing is important. You may find that one child struggled during the move and the other struggled after starting their new school and making friends. I find the best time to connect with my boys is at bed time. Find what works best for you and your kids. You will be pleasantly surprised with what they will share with you.
- Get help. It is rare but sometimes your child may really struggle with the move. If they just can’t make the adjustment, get help. Talk to your pediatrician and get guidance. This is pivotal if you have a child with special needs.
The good news is that kids are resilient. If you are handling the move well, so will they. You know your child best and what works for him or her. Therefore, build off of that connection and it will help them transition successfully and strengthen your relationship. Plus, you will be creating some heartfelt memories that you will talk about for years to come.
